Shadows Of The Past
by Daydreamer79
Summary: Itachi Uchiha has finally had enough with his family. What starts as a piercing soon turns into something more as he finds himself drawn to the sexy Nagato. Happily ever after might not be in the cards as wounds from the past threaten the two. Yaoi


I don't own Naruto nor do I make money from it.

AN: Written on request for Ash365 on Y-gal. I'm planning a short sequel to this, sort of a follow up on the two. Thank you for reading.

**Warnings:** hints of child molestation, physiological trauma, body modification, yaoi

**Shadows Of The Past**

_Buzz. Buzz. Buzz_.

Itachi reached over the expanse of bed to slam his hand on the buzzing alarm. After so long waking up at three-thirty, one would think he would grow used to rising early. No matter how early he went to bed-or how rested he was-he still wanted to lounge about bed like a well fed cat. Just because he couldn't, didn't make him not want to. While others slept away the night until morning, his day was just beginning.

Moonlight gleamed through the windows, playing across the floor of his small but functional apartment. His father and uncle thought he would return to the fold when given a taste of what it was like to work for a living. They had done little more than turn their backs on him the day he left home, telling them he was going to work as a landscaper. It was a blessing for reasons best left unspoken.

It was hard grueling work and the initial pay hadn't been great. He had stuck it out, working first for a landscaping company, then forming his own. Now his company, Sharingan, was one of the most respected landscapers in the city. He had more money than he knew what to do with but still remained in the same small apartment he'd leased when he'd secured a steady job with Minato Namikaze's company.

For the last ten years of his life, his only contact with the Uchiha family was through his mother and brother. Sasuke, in his last year of college, had plans to continue on in graduate school. A route Itachi fully supported. When he'd refused to major in international business, Itachi had taken over paying for Sasuke's schooling, asking only that during the summer months, he work for him as an intern.

Despite the hopes of his father, Itachi continued to refuse the invitations to join the company. His father was getting up in age and would need to appoint a successor soon. Madara continued to insist upon Itachi joining the company. Itachi continued to refuse. He would never allow another person control over his life.

Itachi's morning routine never varied. As he pulled in front of the home he'd grown up in. He was infinitely surprised Sasuke could stand to live there. Mikoto might not have hand much to say when Fugaku turned from Itachi but she put her foot down at her baby being turned out into the streets.

"I can't believe we have to wake up so fucking early." Sasuke practically ripped open the passenger door of Itachi's red Dodge Ram 3500. His brother looked the same every morning but he only griped during the ride. He accepted whatever task Itachi gave him without question or complaint. It made Itachi wonder if Sasuke just complained so to have something to talk about with his normally quiet brother.

"It's better to work early while still cool." Itachi pulled the truck into one of the nearby posh neighborhoods.

"Yeah, well it's still fucking early." Sasuke opened the door and slid from the truck.

True to form, Sasuke's complaints stopped the moment the work began. Digging holes, laying sod, pruning trees, styling shrubs. It was all part of the job. He loved the feel of the earth in his hands. He didn't have to dirty himself. He had enough employees that all he needed to do was sit back and delegate but it t really would defeat the purpose of being a landscaper.

It was nearly noon before they finished the house. He would have to leave the rest to his employees to clean up while checking the other houses on their client list. "Come on, Sasuke."

Sasuke collapsed in the air conditioned interior of the truck. "How can you stand doing this for a living?"

"It's what I enjoy."

Sasuke snorted. "I'm surprised Farther and Uncle Madara haven't kidnapped you yet. They were talking the other night at dinner. They think you're a prodigy and wasting your talents mucking in the dirt. Madara said he'd invested too much in you to lose you. I think they are going to make a move on you soon."

Itachi stiffened noticeably. He'd thought himself free of his family and their mechanizing. He'd thought himself free of Madara. Shivers of revulsion ran through him. He remembered the 'private' tutoring he received from his seemingly caring uncle.

"You alright, Itachi?"

Sasuke's voice grounded him. He pushed aside the sickening feeling churning in his stomach. Madara couldn't touch him anymore. He wouldn't dare. He didn't have to worry about them. They couldn't do anything.

"Why don't you just get some tats or something. Make it clear you won't be the proper Uchiha they want. You always did play the whipping boy for them. I'm actually surprised you stood up for yourself and left." Sasuke yawned, leaning his head against the glass.

"Isn't that a little juvenile?" Itachi arched a brow at his brother.

Sasuke cracked open an eye. "That's your Uchiha side talking. Why do you think I got this?" He pointed towards the silver hoop in his left eyebrow. "Not because I thought it was cool. I did it just because I knew it would piss them off and made a statement that I was not going to be controlled by them any longer."

"I see."

"I don't think you do. Get an earring or a nose ring. Something visible. Something that shouts you are your own man. If it bothers you that bad after you get it, you can always take it out and it will heal. What harm could it do? I even know the best place for it. It's called Akatsuki. Suigetsu's brother works there. You usually need an appointment since it's elite, not your usual tattoo parlor. I think I can swing you one if you're interested."

A piercing. He wasn't particularly keen on the idea but he had to admit Sasuke's piercing was attractive even if his brother didn't seem to care one way or another about it. Sasuke was right, though. If he wanted, he could remove the bit of metal and it would heal. Why not? "Fine. Get me an appointment."

"I knew you couldn't resist."

Metal gleamed from Sasuke's mouth, making Itachi's brow arch. "I thought you said the piercings weren't cool and that you only needed the one."

Sasuke frowned before understanding dawned on him. "Oh, you mean this?" He stuck out his tongue to reveal a silver ball. "The eyebrow piercing was just for show to piss Father off. This one was because I wanted it."

Itachi shook his head. His brother was certainly a strange one.

**oOo**

Sasuke practically dragged Itachi through the glass doors of Akatsuki. The only color on the black walled interior was the occasional red cloud. Unlike the usual tattoo parlor, this one wasn't lined wall to wall with pictures of possible tattoo designs. It looked as Sasuke said-elite.

"Don't chicken out." Sasuke lead Itachi to the front desk where a rather bored looking silver haired young man sat flipping through some magazine. "Sui…this is my brother Itachi. Is your brother ready to pierce him?"

"Oh fuck man…didn't you get my text?" Suigetsu pulled out a blackberry from his pocket. "Fucking piece of shit. Kisame had to go. His girlfriend went ape shit crazy at their apartment."

Sasuke sighed heavily. "So I guess we'll reschedule. It's just fucking annoying getting this guy to take a day off."

"I have spare moment."

All three turned to see tall slender man step from the back room. Surprisingly enough, it wasn't his red hair or piercing gray eyes that drew attention to his face. It was the massive amount of metal. His ears possessed countless numbers of piercings from lobe to shell. His eye brows, the bridge of his nose, and lips all contained piercings. Despite the piercings, Itachi couldn't help but admire the beautiful face. The soft curve of his jaw and full pout of his lips drew his eyes. Even not smiling, this was a man was absolutely gorgeous.

"What's up, Nags! When you gonna let me start inking?" Suigetsu held up his palm to the redhead.

"I told you not to call me that. My name is Nagato or Pein if you must; not Nags." Nagato sent a glare towards Suigetsu, who seemed to melt under the stare.

"Yes, Leader," Suigetsu pouted. "So I'll take that as a maybe?"

"Don't hold your breath." Nagato shifted his eyes to Itachi, almost devouring him.

It took every inch of his inner strength to keep from shifting under those eyes. They seemed to see into his very being. With a jerk of his head, he motioned for Itachi to follow him into one of the waiting rooms.

Inside, Nagato turned to face Itachi with a smirk. "Did you want a tattoo? My skills are far superior to Kisame's."

He shouldn't have taken the words to mean more than tattooing skills. His body had other ideas. He never would have thought he'd find such a deviant of society attractive. "A…piercing."

Nagato pouted a bit, obviously disappointed. "Are you sure? You would look stunning in ink."

"I'm sure."

Nagato sighed, gesturing for him to take a seat in the barber style chair. "Location?"

"That's where I'm not sure…" Itachi internally groaned at the embarrassment flushing his cheeks.

"Well, I would suggest the lips or eyebrows. You could always go simple with the ear as well." Nagato traced his finger along Itachi's ear, making the other shiver slightly.

"The lip. I want to make a statement." Itachi clenched his jaw, thinking of the two patriarchs of their family-both bastards.

"I see and jewelry?" Nagato slipped away, sorting through a draw and withdrawing an alcohol pad and piercing needle.

"Whatever you like." Had he just said that?

A smirk tilted the corner of Nagato's mouth. "Brave words."

He left the room, returning moments later with a silver ring. "You can change your mind."

"It's alright." Itachi flinched at the touch of the alcohol, followed by a slightly numbing cream.

Nagato nodded, lining up the needle on Itachi's lip. "Deep breath," he said.

The pain caused him to flinch but Itachi felt proud he hadn't cried out. His lip, now throbbing, was being adorn with the plain silver jewelry. "It looks good."

Itachi glanced towards the mirror on the wall. It wasn't bad. His lip was beginning to swell and he still wasn't sure it suited him but it would serve its purpose. "Thanks."

"Maybe next time you'll let me ink you. It feels better. The constant pain sets off a rush of endorphins. A very natural high. Some find it particularly arousing." Nagato placed his hand at the base of Itachi's spine, leading him from the room where Sasuke sat chatting with Suigetsu.

"Rad man. You look killer," commented Suigetsu.

"It feels strange." Itachi pressed his tongue to the silver metal.

"Don't do that." Nagato plucked a card from the desk scribbling something on the back before handing it to Itachi. "This is instructions for care."

Itachi glanced over the instructions, instinctively flipping the card and seeing a hastily scrawled number. Sasuke glanced over his shoulder, brows rising into his hairline. "Tachi, we need to get going."

"Alright." Itachi accepted his credit card and the receipt. His eyes locked with Nagato. "Goodbye."

"God, he was so hitting on you. I'm surprised he didn't ravish you in the back," Sasuke crowed as soon as they exited the shop

Itachi ignored his brother's mirth. "Shut up, Sasuke."

Sasuke, obviously not knowing when to shut up, grinned at his brother. "So, you going to call him?"

That was a good question. Was he going to call him? He hadn't dated a man since high school. He always seemed to take on a more submissive role with men. It frustrated him as he'd been raised to be an almost alpha male. With Nagato, he could feel himself falling into that same submissive role. "No, I don't think I will." Things were better that way.

**oOo**

"You sly dog…" Suigetsu grinned widely, a trait he'd adopted from his brother. "Wait until I tell Kisame."

"You speak one word of this to anyone and I'll have your nuts for earrings." Nagato hissed. "They don't call me Pein because of the piercings."

Suigetsu paled, frantically nodding his understanding. "Whatever you say."

Nagato nodded, stalking back to his office. A small origami flower fluttered on his desk as he slumped in the chair. He hadn't dated since Konan died. It had always been Konan. As children, he knew he would marry her. They had dated each other exclusively in high school. While she went to design school, he supported them both as a tattooist. They'd finally settled down to tie the knot when she'd gotten sick. Who knew someone so young could get ovarian cancer. It happened so fast. One minute she was there and the next, he was being held down by Kisame and Hidan to keep from tearing apart the hospital.

After the funeral, their small group of friends had taken turns staying with them. He wanted to tell them to leave, to let him mourn in peace. They would have stayed with him regardless. He was on suicide watch as far as they were concerned.

Thinking back, he wondered what he would have done if he hadn't had such a strong group of friends. "Would you care if I started dating?"

He reached out to touch the paper petal. It had been her thing. Every morning she would craft a beautiful flower from paper to wear in her hair. The clothes she wore would determine the color of paper. "I don't know anything about him other than he's the brother of Suigetsu's friend. He probably won't even call me back."

_Then you call him._

He smiled at Konan's voice ringing through his head. That was something she would say. He didn't think she would mind him finding someone. He would never stop loving her, but even the shop wasn't enough to fill the gaping loneliness inside. "You know I love you, right?"

_Stop talking to yourself. I would only want you happy, even if it wasn't with me._

"I've never been with a man before. Only you."

_Oh, stop being a pussy. Just do what makes each other feel good. That's the whole point of making love isn't it? Making each other feel good. And while you're at it, stop talking to me like this. It's not good for your sanity to imagine conversations with your dead girlfriend._

Nagato laughed. She had a point. "Thanks, Konan. I'll bring you some fresh flowers soon."

_Chrysanthemums._

Nagato chuckled to himself. Even in his imagined conversations with her, she was always so bossy. "Chrysanthemums it is."

**oOo**

Itachi flinched at the slap. He hadn't been expecting his father to take his small bout of individuality so badly. From the glare in Fugaku's eyes, he wouldn't be surprised if he killed him.

"We let you have your fun, playing at common man's work but enough is enough. Come back to the family and all will be forgiven." Madara stepped forward to smirk at Itachi. He could almost feel his uncle's disgusting touch. It was like a hand curling around his throat, constricting-destroying his ability to breathe.

"I've told you before. I'm not joining the company." Itachi clenched his fists. "Leave before I call the police."

"Worthless sons, both of you. You could have been great." Fugaku stormed from yard where Itachi was rolling out sod.

"Are you sure you won't reconsider?" Madara examined his nails, an almost bored look upon his face.

"Need I remind you what will come to light if you ever spoke to me again? There might not be a chance of you being arrested, but I can ruin your name and your company. Stay away from me." Itachi turned his back, walking to where Sasuke stood silently watching the exchange. His brother knew. Madara had tried the same shit, luckily, Itachi was there to threaten his uncle with exposure if he ever tried to molest Sasuke. His brother was left alone after that, but more the wiser of his devious uncle.

"You alright?" Sasuke didn't even glance in the direction his father left.

"No." Itachi sighed, running a hand through the long bangs framing his face. "But I think I've seen the last of Father. He'll be too busy finding someone to take over the company to worry about us."

Sasuke nodded. "Did you call that guy, Nagato?"

Itachi scowled at his little brother. He hadn't. It had been almost a month since he'd walked through the doors of Akatsuki. It wasn't like he hadn't been tempted. Lying in bed alone, he'd jerked off to the memory of piercing gray eyes, gentle hands, and thick ginger locks. "No-"

"I think you should. He was pretty hot if you like guys, which I know you do." Sasuke stared unblinking at Itachi.

"You're too observant, little brother."

"That's what younger brothers do," snorted Sasuke. "Call him. Go on a date. It's not like you have to fuck him right away or anything. Go have fun for once. Take Saturday off and do something. I don't think your business would go under if you took one day off."

"Fine. I'll call him, just stop trying to play matchmaker. It doesn't suit you." Itachi stormed away, just missing the comment Sasuke made.

"That's what you think." He popped open his cellphone, hitting speed dial. A voice answered and Sasuke grinned. "Score."

**oOo**

Itachi pulled his truck into a parking spot at a surprisingly quaint restaurant. He'd arranged to meet Nagato at the restaurant, the other insisted. It didn't seem the type of place one such as Nagato would frequent, but who was he to judge. He wasn't sure it would work out, but he thought he would give it a chance.

The hostess glanced up from her podium to stare almost enviously at Itachi. He still possessed some of his etiquette from growing up an Uchiha. His black suit and tie gave him an almost distinguished look. His eyes scanned the dining room, not seeing the familiar red hair. "I'm meeting someone. I'll wait in the bar until he arrives."

"May I ask your name."

"Itachi Uchiha." Itachi nodded as she jotted down the name.

"The bar is just through there. Please enjoy yourself."

Itachi sided up to the bar. "Scotch." Another habit he'd developed from his father. He hoped he wasn't too much like the bastard.

Taking a deep swallow, the amber liquid burned thickly down his throat. It had been a while since he'd had the stuff. Most nights he was too exhausted to do more than fall in bed.

"Itachi?"

Itachi turned to see his date. He looked not what he'd expected. The piercings were still in place yet wearing the suit and tie, he seemed almost comfortable. "Hey."

"I suppose you were expecting black leather and chains?" Nagato took a seat beside Itachi at the bar.

"I wasn't sure what to think when you suggested here." A smirk lifted one corner of Itachi's mouth. "If you're going to try and woo me, fancy restaurants might not be the best option."

Nagato arched a brow. "Oh, really? Suigetsu seemed to think that you might be more comfortable here."

Itachi swallowed the last of his scotch. "Then I guess you had better stop listening to Suigetsu so often."

"Since I seem to have flopped in the date planning, what would you suggest."

Itachi grinned.

The two found themselves leaving the restaurant in favor of a small café in the flower district. The summer had been kind and the flowers were in bloom all down the sidewalk and in the small flower garden displays down the street. Both men had discarded their ties and jackets, rolling up their sleeves and getting comfortable.

"Itachi, it's been a while." Iruka Umino, proprietor of the café, walked towards their small intimate table.

"I've been busy."

Iruka chuckled, "So I see."

Itachi leveled a gaze on the older man. "With work."

Iruka held up his hands plaintively. "Whatever you say."

Iruka walked away, returning moments later with appetizers and drinks. Nagato chuckled at the familiarity between the two. "Frequent this place often?"

"A bit. My company handles the landscaping for the city. I always make a point to stop and eat here when I'm on this side of town." Itachi sipped at the lemonade the café was known for. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Anything."

"Why did you hit on me? I'm not exactly the type that might interest you."

Nagato lifted a hand to his face, fingering one of the metal shafts protruding from the bridge of his nose. "You mean these?"

"It just seems you would want to date someone who-" What could he say, someone who was like him? That seemed a little stereotypical. Itachi just couldn't see the reason Nagato would want to have anything to do with him. He was a regular working man. The only reason he'd gotten the piercing was to annoy his father and uncle-to show them he was serious about his life.

"I find you physically attractive. I enjoy the feel of metal in my skin. I enjoy the jewelry but I don't listen to goth rock or go around scaring old ladies. I listen to classical music. I play video games. I boss around my employees. I just don't look the norm and I must say, you don't either." Nagato lifted a hand to finger the long locks falling over Itachi's shoulder.

Itachi snorted, understanding his words. The remainder of the meal went by enjoyably. Instead of ending it there, they walked down the well lit street. They didn't do something so cliché as hold hands. Neither were much for public displays of affection. They merely enjoyed each other's company. Upon parting, Nagato kissed Itachi gently. It was so quick and faint, more of a friendly kiss than a date would give.

That wasn't to say, the kisses stayed so innocent. Over the course of the next several weeks, Nagato and Itachi shared many more less than innocent kisses. Itachi cherished every one and he could feel Nagato's desire to go further than a few heated kisses and touches. Every time Nagato's hands drifted further south than his waist, his body froze up. Any pleasure he felt fled from him with the force of air exiting the end of a balloon, causing him to put a stop to the touches least Nagato find out his problem.

He knew the reason his body froze at Nagato's intimate touches. Madara. It chilled him to his very core knowing Nagato's touches brought back the terrifying childhood memories.

Madara's secret touches and molestations had all but ruined Itachi for men. He wasn't a virgin and had lost his virginity at fifteen to a girl his father had hired. The boy he'd dated in high school had never pushed him further than a few stolen kisses. Now, Itachi was shoved between a rock and a hard place. He felt deeply for Nagato, but if he couldn't break his fear, it would be better to end it.

Itachi frowned as he chopped the vegetables, not realizing Nagato was behind him until warm arms looped around his waist. "What's for dinner?"

"Stir fry." Itachi brushed the chopped carrots, onions, broccoli, and snow peas into oiled pan.

"I'd rather have you." Nagato's hands settled onto Itachi's hips while his lips nibbled on the bared neck-a mixture of cold metal and warm skin. His body didn't know how to react. The fear was still there, and the lust. If Nagato went much further, he feared his body might reject him once more.

Nagato growled against Itach's neck, a purring deep sound. His teeth nibbled on the pale skin while his thumbs moved in circles over the bony jut of hips. Heat poured through Itachi's body. His frame slumped over the counter. He loved having Nagato's lips on his neck. Pleasure pushed aside any doubts he had. Perhaps he was getting over his fear.

He thought that, until Nagato pressed his jean clad erection against Itachi's ass. The feel of the hardness pushing against him once again bled every ounce of pleasure from him. He felt his own desire fade. A red flush of embarrassment replaced his blush of desire.

Nagato continued to grind against him, his breath panting against Itachi's neck. Itachi shuddered as Nagato's hands slid around to palm his limp crotch, pausing at the unaroused state. "Itachi?"

"I-" He wasn't sure what to say.

"I think we need to talk." Nagato reached past Itachi to remove the food from the stove. His piercings caught the kitchen light, illuminating the serious profile. He led Itachi into the living room and to the black leather couch, one of Itachi's splurges during his early years alone.

Both were quiet for what seemed to be a life time. Itachi, normally one to look people directly in the eye, did everything to avoid looking at Nagato. He didn't want to see the expression his boyfriend carried. "You wanted to talk?"

"Are you sure you want to be in a relationship with me? I'll understand if you aren't physically attracted to me." Nagato sounded almost hurt. The blatant emotion expressed in his tone was enough to jar Itachi from his self imposed silence.

"No! I find you very attractive."

Nagato chuckled mirthlessly. "Obviously your body doesn't. I don't want to seem horrible. I care about you and if we are never intimate, I enjoy being with you. I would just like to be able to share our bodies with each other."

"We can still be together." Itachi pressed his body against Nagato, enjoying the breathless gasp. "I can still make you feel good."

Itachi pressed his palm to the warm flesh between Nagato's legs. There was no reason Nagato couldn't feel good. It made Itachi feel good that he had such an effect on his boyfriend. "Let me make you feel good."

Itachi latched his lips onto the pierced ones before him. His hands ran over the hard body beneath him. It felt different. He'd been with women. It wasn't the same as with men. Every woman he'd ever been with had wanted him to take control. They had wanted him to dominate them. Nagato always seemed to take the initiative, taking away the need to be in control. Losing control-he felt just as he did with Madara, unable to fight back.

"No-ah!" Nagato arched beneath him, his hips grinding up into Itachi's touch.

Itachi felt himself stirring, moaning at the feel of Nagato beneath him. His mind kept spinning the words, _he is not Madara_, over and over. Only when Nagato gave a hard push did he sit back to stare. "What is it?"

"Tell me why?"

Itachi frowned. It was his own secret. His and Sasuke's. He'd taken his uncle's perversion to prevent him from turning his eyes towards Sasuke until he could bear it no longer. Perhaps it was what turned him away from business. There was no denying he was gifted in that aspect. Perhaps if his uncle had left him alone, he would now be running the Uchiha Company. He'd needed to leave and in doing so, changed his fate. "Tell you what?"

"Don't play with me. I'm not stupid. Why do you tense up when I touch you. I thought it was just nerves at first, that this was your first time in a relationship with a man. Now, I'm not so sure. If you want this to continue, you need to tell me or I'll walk out that door." Nagato forced Itachi to look him in the eye.

He wanted to. He wanted to show just how much Nagato meant to him. He wanted to scream as loud as he could. He wanted, but didn't. He couldn't voice what had been done to him since he was ten years old. "I can't."

Nagato seemed to deflate before his eyes. Hurt and anger warred with each other in pale gray eyes. "Okay."

Itachi's eyes widened, watching in shock as Nagato stood and walked to the door. He didn't think he actually meant to leave him. "Wait."

"If you won't talk to me, talk to someone. Please. You need help. It's not healthy for you."

"Nagato! Don't leave." Itachi grabbed Nagato's shoulder, forcing him to face him.

Nagato reached to trace the deep shadows beneath Itachi's eyes. "Then talk to me."

"I…I'm sorry." Itachi watched Nagato lower his eyes. He leaned forward to brush his lips across Itachi's before opening the door and leaving the apartment.

His lips felt burned with the finality of Nagato's leaving. For long moments he stared at the open door before closing it and sliding to the floor. He wanted break something. He wanted to physically show the way his heart felt. He might be a man, but he still felt just as intensely as every other human being and fuck did it hurt. He'd thrown away something good-something if given time, might have helped heal him and it hurt like nothing he'd ever felt before.

**oOo**

Itachi swore, dropping the hedge clippers. He couldn't think. He'd nearly ruined three of the ten hedges. His mind wouldn't focus. It had been six weeks since he'd seen Nagato and the proof was in his face. He'd practically aged ten years in the six weeks Nagato had been gone. The natural chisel of his face had become more prominent and the dark smudges beneath his eyes, even more visible.

"Jesus, Itachi. You look like shit." Sasuke walked up to his brother. He helped out on the weekends for extra cash while in college since he'd moved into his own apartment. Itachi helped out partially with the rent but the majority was footed by Sasuke. It made Itachi proud to see his brother on his own.

"I'm fine, a little tired. Shouldn't you be in class?" Itachi rubbed the sweat dripping in his eyes. The early autumn days still had quite a bit of heat. It wouldn't be long before he went into winter tending mode-the heat a precursor to the biting cold soon to follow..

"You look more than a little tired. You look dead. You've lost weight and your eyes look like Gaara when he puts on that thick eye shadow shit." Sasuke took the clippers from Itachi's hand. "I heard you broke it off with Nagato."

"Who told you?"

"Suigetsu. He said Nagato was pretty fucked up in the head for a couple of weeks. He said it reminded him of when Nagato's girlfriend Konan died a few years ago. What happened?" Sasuke pulled himself onto the down back of Itachi's truck, offering his brother a bottle of cold water from the ice chest.

"I'm sure you don't want to hear about my problems." Itachi took the offered water, downing it in long deep swallows.

"Try me."

Itachi shook his head. He and Sasuke were too close. It had only been a matter of time before his brother noticed the depression haunting him. "I've had this problem being…intimate with Nagato. Whenever he would get a little more into it than I was ready for, I would go limp."

"Erection dysfunction? You serious?" Sasuke's eyes nearly popped from his head. "Have you seen a doctor? There are pills, you know."

"Asshole. It's not my dick. It's something else. Every time he'd…touch me, I'd think back to him."

Sasuke's laugh died on his lips. "Madara?"

"Yeah. He asked me what was wrong, I couldn't tell him. How do you tell the man you are falling in love with that your uncle molested you for eight years of your life?" Itachi ran a hand through his hair, pulling the tie free, the inky locks falling around his face to hide it from view. "I just couldn't tell him that. I'm weak."

"I don't know what you said to Madara to keep him from turning to me when you left, but I owe you." Sasuke drew a leg up, pressing his chin to the knee.

"It's amazing how resourceful one gets when faced with that. I had proof…glaring proof of Madara's molestation. I threatened to go to the press about it. It would have ruined his chances for the Senate," Itachi chuckled, "I couldn't let him fuck you up like he did me."

Sasuke bounced his head lightly on his knee, his teeth making little snapping sounds with each movement. "I think you should see someone…I agree with Nagato. You need to talk to someone other than me. I know what you went through but I don't know how to help you."

"I don't-"

"Don't start that shit. You can't even have a healthy relationship with a man. You need to be able to touch your lover and be touched by him," explained Sasuke.

"I'm fine if I'm in control."

"Are you really? Are you really fine? What happens when your lover pins you? Are you going to just let that shit Madara did to you take away any foreplay? It's not about who bottoms and who tops, it's about the enjoyment you both bring. You are seriously handicapped in the bedroom and you need to fix it before you date anyone, whether it be man or woman." Sasuke gave Itachi a particularly hard poke on his shoulder. "I fucking feel like the big brother telling you this. You should have seen someone long before this."

Itachi stared at his brother. Sasuke had really grown up. He was smart and loving to those he cared about. He didn't deserve to be the crying shoulder to his older brother. It irked Itachi that Sasuke was right. He should have seen someone. Until Nagato, he'd assumed he could work through things himself. He'd never been in a position to lose his hard won control. His weakness made him a fool.

"Thanks for the advice, Sasuke." He meant it. Sasuke helped him see things he was blind to.

"Yeah but are you going to get help? I mean, I can't do everything for you."

"I'll see what I can do." Itachi tapped his brother's forehead, making the other wrinkle his nose in annoyance.

"Stop that, I'm not five anymore, you know," Sasuke pouted.

Itachi smirked at the disgruntled look. "You'll always be my little brother."

"Yeah, yeah. You owe me lunch." Sasuke jumped from the lowered truck gate, leveling a glare on his brother.

"Deal."

**oOo**

Itachi paced nervously before the door of Akatsuki. He knew Nagato was there. It had been almost three months since he'd seen Nagato. After his heart to heart with Sasuke, he'd wanted to call Nagato and tell him he was ready to talk but he knew he wasn't. Some part of him still held back. Even now after nearly a month of therapy, it still terrified him.

"Are you going to stand there pacing all day or come in here?" Suigetsu stuck his head through the door.

"Hn.." Itachi scowled at the rolling eyes.

"An Uchiha through and through. Sasuke pulls that shit too." Suigetsu held open the door for Itachi, gesturing widely for him to enter the shop.

"Is Nagato in?" He asked though he knew he was. Nagato was equally as much of a workaholic as he was.

"As a matter of fact, he is. He's in his office, go right in."

Itachi eyed Suigetsu warily. The annoying little shit was up to something, he just didn't know what it was but was certain he would find out soon. For some reason, he had a feeling Sasuke was in on the 'joke' as well. "Thank you," he offered.

Swallowing down his nervousness and most of his pride, he knocked on the door to Nagato's office. His heart beat a heavy staccato against his chest's wall. He was sure the world could hear the pounding beat. Even if Nagato had moved on-even if he was turned away romantically, he had to resolve the issues left between them.

"Suigetsu, I have to have these invoices finished by the end of the day so if it isn't an emergency, go away."

Itachi took a breath and pushed open the door. "Am I enough of an emergency?"

Nagato's eyes shot up, widening almost comically. "Itachi-"

"Do you have time to talk?"

Nagato lowered his eyes to the papers littering his desk. "I'm busy today."

"I see." A keen feeling of disappointment rushed through Itachi. He'd lost any hope with him.

"But I suppose I can take a short break." Nagato tossed his pen to the desk with a frustrated sigh. "I hate invoices."

"I can tell." Itachi settled slowly in one of the only two chairs available. It took every fiber in his being not to fidget beneath the intense stare coming from Nagato.

"So…you wanted to talk?"

Itachi nodded slowly. "It's been awhile-"

Pein chuckled but Itachi could hear the lack of amusement in the sound.. "Three fucking months."

"I'm sorry."

"It's a bit late, don't you think?" It was Pein's turn to look uncomfortable, as if he was fighting the urge to say something.

Itachi nodded, "Maybe, but I'd like to say it anyway. I took your advice, well your's and Sasuke's. I wanted to be a little less broken before I talked with you again. I just didn't think it would take so long. I know you probably don't want to deal with someone like me who carries so much baggage…"

"I'll be the judge of that," Nagato interjected.

Itachi blinked, unsure if he'd heard him correctly. "I'm pretty messed up. Even my therapist says it might be months or years before I'm able to be truly intimate with another man. I was-" Itachi froze mid sentence. He hadn't realized how hard it would be to tell someone he loved about the things he'd suffered as a child. His therapist was different. She wouldn't judge him. He wasn't sure how Nagato would react. "Fuck, I didn't realize how hard it would be."

Nagato pulled the second spare chair so he faced Itachi. "You don't have to-"

Itachi shook his head. "I want to. From the time I was about ten until I left home at eighteen, my uncle sexually molested me."

"Itachi-"

Itachi kept his eyes focused on something other than Nagato. The wall. The desk. The terrible painting hanging behind his desk. Anything but seeing the disgust in Nagato's face he'd heard in his voice. "I know, I'm ruined. Fucked up beyond repair."

"You're not fucking ruined." Nagato suddenly had his arms wrapped tightly around Itachi.

He refused to cry. He wasn't some weepy pussy. But he felt happy to have Nagato's arms around him. It was paradise. "I'm sorry."

"Don't say that. I'm the one who's sorry. I thought…I shouldn't have pushed you," Nagato whispered.

"I'm glad you did. I want to be with you but-" Itachi paused to look in Nagato's eye's. "I wasn't fit to be with you. I'm still pretty fucked up but I wanted you to know that your leaving that day helped me. It forced me to reevaluate my life. Sasuke helped too."

"I should have gone about it better. I could have helped you."

Itachi shook his head, sooty bangs moving with the motion. "I needed to ask for help. I know it's a lot to ask, but can we start over? I'm not sure how long it will be before I can be intimate. It could be a long time. If you don't want to wait, I'll understand."

"I can wait as long as it takes." Nagato lowered his lips to brush along Itachi's almost gently. It felt different, similar to a promise shared between two people.

"Thank you." Itachi lowered his brow to Nagato's.

"It should be me thanking you for still wanting me," Nagato answered. "Thank you."

Itachi grunted his reply, a sound of contentment. He wanted to tell Nagato to fuck the invoices and come home with him-to hold him as he did while they watched movies on his couch. He wanted to say he would work hard to overcome their obstacles. He wanted to say it would only be a couple of weeks until they could be intimate. It wouldn't be so easy but they would climb every obstacle. He now had another arm of support in the long journey to repair the damage done during his childhood. It was all any man could ask for in the end. The long road to normality wouldn't be quite so lonely any longer.

The End


End file.
